Deaths

I have no time to document my encounter with deaths. Some deaths feel "nearer" to me than others.

A couple of weeks ago, a prof from Art History dept died of breast cancer. She was 40. I saw her death has impacted many people near me: My current art prof burst out in tears infront of her students in class; my research prof ( who's probably around the same age with her) couldn't really focus on work even though she doesn't know her;I might have taken her class at some point, people said she's brilliant, but most of all, I just found out that she's the wife of my art grant advisor. He has never mentioned it to me, the whole time we were speaking, god must know how hard he has been through everyday.

A primary school teacher just died yesterday. She taught me public speaking. She's always approachable during my visits after graduation. She's my sis's classmate's mom. She's my teachers' colleagues. I talked to her a lot when I was 12 years old in school.

Miraculously, I dreamt of my dear friend who died a couple of years ago of cancer. He was still so warm and friendly in my dream.

RIP.

Mounting pressure from all directions

Like nobody's business..
Have just been hiding trying to keep my pressure cooker from exploding
All subjects have paper due sometime sunday or later but I would not be able to do it on the plane so basically I have to finish it prior.
Am anticipating a reverse culture shock when I go home: language , conversation , culture, food , means of entertainment
Super excited but super worried
Bought tons of valuables and am worried of custom , luggage
Have been rambling about all these to ppl...so I hope ppl don't feel I am too much!
Now back to my papers!

concert tomorrow

The few interesting events that occurred today:

I learned to spell Burkina Faso's capital, i.e. Ouagadougou ( no I lied, I still use the spell check), but yeah, you can never finish learning the capitals of every country in the world. My prof who have been there for her thesis research never stop talking about her experience there. For her, I guess Burkina Faso is Africa.

Came across a friend that I don't usually bump into. He told me he got hired to a very competitive consulting company and is willing to share a tips or two in getting to interviews, getting the job etc. I was happy to hear that he is so low profile and generous to help; you hear a lot about these people getting high prestigious consulting job, but they are usually cocky and not really willing to share their experience. I bet even now, not many know that this friend got into this top ranked consulting company and gets to choose which country he wants to be! Is this a bonus to me ? or should I still stick to looking for my own passion?

I HAVE to talk about SEX infront of my residents next week,yeah part of my job description as an undergrad advisor. So I went to seek advice on how to conduct this potential awkward and chaotic meeting. There comes a time where you really need to confront your inner fear of talking about certain 'sensitive' or personal topic.

Had a long rehearsal from 6- 9 30pm today for my percussion ensemble. I was lost most of the time , cause even I know the beats, I still need to coordinate the beats with the guest performers, which is a 7- people-Cuban band. Using my rusty Spanish, I was able to ask for help, and their music guru, W, was such a nice guy. I have to be frank, I have a musician crush on him. On the other hand, the other band members might have a crush on me too. They came to me and ask for a photo together, and didn't ask the others. good guess? lol.

My voice is still lost, due to me drinking everything but water. But I find my voice kinda sexy, not everyone thinks so though.

ok. adios!

Boston

I was always kinda "forced" to take up some drumming gigs because I belong to the world music percussion ensemble. I call it "forced" because usually these invitation to perform come in really late and without any early notice. Most of the time, I have to readjust my schedule or sacrifice something in order to make those performance happen. Of course, I enjoy every opportunity I have to perform, but when it finally comes to " how can I spend my time for me? " question, I don't think I know how to answer that really well.

So this week, I decided to go with the flow, and just join Kevin and his friends to Boston, and not make it to a concert. We got a free ride ( well in a car, not the $ 50 per person bus ride) to Boston and have a free place to stay ( one of our friends got an interview with a consulting firm, and they gave him a nice big room in a hotel with room service and parking space, food, etc just for the interview) . See if you want to have a good luxury life, see how the companies trying to lure you into the corporate world. It really comes down to the lifestyle you wanna live . $ 300 dollars hotel room for an interview ?? maybe!

I called up Jonathan and Olivia before the trip. Luckily they can both make time to meet up with me. We went around the Boston to search for place eat, and later go out. Me and Olivia got some girl time in a bar , catching up where we left off almost 2 years ago. It feels so nice to have somebody who understand you, and just spill everything without any burden. Sadly, I lost my voice from the day before and it wasn't really pleasant to hear my voice for the two days.

Massachusetts is a really strict state. They are not allow to serve alcohol after 12 30 am and and they don't have trains after 12 30 am. After that its really up to us how we go home. All the taxis were just trying to hike up the price coz this is not New York. High demand, low supply , we have mean taxi drivers. We walked half the city just to catch a bus to go to Olivia's college, Wellesley. Luckily we made it to the bus stop just in time.

So in short, got some real food, real city life, real conversation, real friends, and real time for me!

random observation

I decided that instead of not saying anything about my life in detail
i could spat out stuff that I have yet thought through, most of my time in Dartmouth, I am just rushing from place to place, and haven't have enough time to reflect on things :

Art history department dinner- realized that the department which is located next to the Baker library is used to be the Museum ( studio art department used to be there after the museum is moved , then occupied by art history department)

The everchanging of Dartmouth is witnessed by most staff and faculty more than student
Talked to a Safety and Security officer who has been here since 1982. According to her, she knows the nasty details of the parents ( who are Dartmouth alums) of current students!
As people know, the legacy is really strong here, most dartmouth alum want to send their children back to Dartmouth

CEO of Ebay (who is a dartmouth alum) gave a talk:
his son is a 2009 Graduate of Dartmouth too, he married his wife who is one year older than him in Dartmouth, and ever since then coordinated with his wife for 25 years of how both their careers could fit with each other to start family, advance in corporate ladder etc. All networking starts with curiosity and authenticity of character

The first women editor of the Dartmouth newspaper is now the chief editor of International Herald Tribune , she came back to talk about international journalism, says that her main motivation to go after her career is the lifestyle that she wants ( being abroad) , rather than merely journalism ( cause its very low pay)

Network yourself into a job!!! that's what everybody advices, have curiosity with people !!

My Egg Obsession

I am an addict! An Egg addict! I need a cure!!

I eat egg tarts everyday even though I know the crust of the egg tarts I bought from this particular shop is too flaky. I would order chicken burgers and take eggies from Kevin's plate as additional level.

Eggies I consume:

Egg tarts- one a day

Scramble eggs - one every two days

French Toast -- once a week

Fried Eggs -- if i m not eating any of the above

I thought I just hear my mom's warning of high cholesterol and potential of stroke ..haha

Am I the fish in this tank?

People have told me many times that our Major doesn't necessarily have to do with what we are going to be doing in the future. However,whenever you are asked" what do you study in college? " people wants to, in their head, do the equation and to link your answer to your prospective career.

"Geography" I said. " Oh you like maps? "

"Geography and Studio Arts" as if trying to justify myself " Oh, you like drawing maps?"

"Geography, but I like the human geography part, you know the development and cultural issues? " I thought linking myself to social goals is always a good answer. " Wow, didn't know geography covers that, so what will you be doing then? " So they still can't do the math, cause there is no job that people can immediately relate to a Geography major. In superficial settings, when people initially trying to get to know you, that's dangerous. Cause you can be shoved aside and listed in their head as the " I-can't-relate-to-her" lady.

Yes, we live in the world where people try to simplify things all the time. Simplification allows them to use less to understand more and make judgment. All the ads, the marketing plans, all the business models are simplified so that people could "fall in love" to the products easily without asking too many questions. Thus all the powerpoint work for interns. haha.

What happen to career exploration? ask more questions? question everything?

That's precisely how I ended up in New York City. Testing what I know and what I don't. Testing the tank full of fish, and see whether I belong here.

Turns out I still have to go back to the internet to make future plans. Not that I do not like socializing and exploration. But the city can be mean if you do not know anyone. I can't possibly go anywhere without friends by myself, and its so hard to make plans with friends who do not seem to know how to follow up.

Ideally, I would like to look up random alums with big money and works with big company and just chat with them. But that requires a lot of research and asking the right questions. Better yet, keep a communication log and record all the conversation that has happened. Well, I really like to know how people achieve their career goals!But that takes so much time!

I had a rough start in NYC, maybe I was not careful enough,but it teaches me that unpaid internship can be really sketchy. When there's no pay involve, people could just use you as cheap labors. That's how I feel the only few days at my first internship. They made me make a bunch of phone calls to random restaurants to ask for random donations. Who does that? Why would people help a random stranger ? That is in fact, the key to my discovery in New York.

"Who would help a random stranger?" The answer is of course: NOBODY.How do we solve that problem? By NETWORKING. Over the month, I understand that the core difference between Bribery and Networking. Both involves knowing the right people, but the former requires you to give lots and lots of "present" to make them happy to return any favor, while the later requires a good sense of humor, the right personality to keep those "helpful" people in your loop without letting them know you are actually "networking". It is a paradox, because when networking seems more noble, bribery is more honest, because the objective is clear at the very beginning.

I networked to find my second internship. Yes, I quit, and I was panicked for about two weeks. But thank Buddha that I wasn't alone. I have the best bf and a groups of close friends from Dartmouth. I talked to alums, talked to my mentor, talked to friends and many many more people. Doug, my percussion teacher, was kind enough to point me to a great direction, his best friend, Tim, who is the deputy director for an Arts Management Company. I went straight to their office and got the position the next day I returned from exile in Dartmouth.

Being an intern in this company makes me think even more. Arts industry is a tough world without good business management. This company,working as non-profit, strives to provide different services for the arts community such as software design, insurance, space rentals, fund-raising and more. Most colleagues in the company are smart people with interest in arts and usually have a graduate degree. ( Q1: is master degree a must?) Working in a non-profit sector doesn't mean you don't earn money, is just that you are not entitled to own shares, and become a millionaire over-night because you do well. A common misconception is that a non-profit consists of poor management who always ask for donations to keep a company running. But this company's business model is to get funding to develop new projects so that when the project is successful, they can generate their own revenue and run continuously without more funding.

There are so many questions that I wanted to ask all these smart people around me, but sadly, I am not a vampire. Nobody likes to be asked " what's your life challenge and key to success " everyday. My dear friend Faaez from Pakistan shared with me, " Americans separate their time for serious conversation and non-serious ones, don't ever bring up world poverty during lunch, expect people to discuss with you, they will think that you are an idiot". So guys' lunch conversations are " chick talk, trash talk, and ball talk, lebron james will be a good topic too". Girls, " boyfriends, sex, boys, flirting, sex, boys, sex boys". Welcome to America. (Q2: Then when is the best time to network?).

Day 1-- I absolutely enjoy most of the conversations with my colleagues, cause we talked about majors , studies, and work application.

Day 2-- the whole office was all excited about " the guy in the rainbow" high on drugs You tube clip. ( if you want to know the extend of the interest of this topic which I fail to relate to , watch it, also check out the number of clicks it receives.)

Day 3-- I am swamped with work and I feared I cannot finish my assignments in time. I was to research and compare any software in the internet and market that provides good features for small scale arts organization and arts school. Though having no time to talk to my new acquaintance, I did managed to learn a hell lot about writing a consultation report. Seeing my colleagues have all the time to chat with one another and making jokes, I understand a beginner like me will take more time to finish a task than them, so I do not have the luxury to talk.

Off days (like today)-- I would continue to work for my professor, who is hiring me, despite my lack of attention to the work I was paid to do in the Spring. But since I live in the city and have to get paid, I might as well be a good assistant. Again, the countless " geography major" conversation stuck in my head, and I had to do something about it. One of the summer tasks is to continue to find courses that interest me and keep me pursuing my million interests ( such as Marketing, Art History, Women and Gender Studies) on top of the Geography Major requirements and Modification with Studio Arts course. Moreover, I was suppose to volunteer ( I clearly haven't learn my lesson about unpaid internship) for a Jazz promotional non-profit started by non other than Jude Law ( will never meet him). I had the chance to learn about the principles of PR job , I was suppose to find writers and press who could help the organization promote their latest "gig tool" online. I am even invited to their salon event, which entails cocktail dress, drinks, and jazz musicians!

But I am about to call everything off to go to Motema's b'day in Dartmouth. Reasons?
Yes I could be networking with tonnes of new contacts, but ultimately , I will only receive enough name cards for god knows when to use. A pure superficial event, fun to go if I am with a bunch of girl friends.But I do not even know the organizers ( only thing I know is that they date within the organization, or , they volunteer together), and have only met with my supervisor once.

Based on my experience in Bangkok, it takes more than a month to let people feel comfortable to be around you, to accept you as a friend, and willing to tell you the 'truth' about their world, their lifestyle. That's why I am very much an intruder ( I know that because everybody has each others' skype account in the office and chat except me, everybody could track each other's calendar except for me, I am pretty much out of their intercom network). Which leads to another crucial question ( Q3: How much can you know about a culture and place in 4 weeks? if so, do I really need to go to another study abroad which I am accepted, or should I just focus on career/soul searching for my remaining terms in Dartmouth? )

There are still so much to think about. My life as an intern is not done yet. But I hope I will learn along the way and would one day declare what I really wanna do in the future.