Do I want the opportunity?

The last few days of volunteering have been extremely easy and reluctant. Not much responsibility, even I do, we can’t really stay here to catch on the waves of Mercy or observe the consequences of our work.

As my laptop screen’s crack getting worse each day, which is a big urge for me to get everything on together, including burning all the information off the laptop, getting pictures processed for the kids, getting my art projects in the graphic room done, though I merely make half the progress.

I don’t really think I have made big achievements here, but one of the things that I am proud of most is that I am willing to share my thoughts and insight about the place. I hoped that the scholarships Mercy receive for the UWC could reach out for more candidates, so I suggested a presentation on the school with the sponsorship department. As I have been rejected presenting it in my own high school back in Malaysia. I am aware of the kind of people I am facing and my goal of the day.

Back home, the reason of objecting the presentation is “Why are you giving so many people hope where they can easily settle down in a local college. This scholarship is only for the smart ones and there aren’t many here.”

I felt the protective voice from the teacher. However, I also recognized that this has always been the case for an adult. They always trying to measure what we really want or what we can really succeed as in the future without really know what is really inside our little mind. In this case, Mercy is measuring the needs for the kids in the community.

I wanted to motivate souls like how I used to be moved by even the slightest challenge by a speaker on stage. I want to sing when I hear beautiful melodies, I want to drums along every rhythm I possibly come across and definitely not miss a slightest chance towards a big opportunity to make me into a better person.

Once again I was disappointed because my presentation about studying abroad to the slum kids is not likely to happen. I thought it was due to the absence of a translator, I was a little frustrated and pissed off about it. They seemed to be no solution since all other dates were booked. The clock is ticking and I am off in 16 days.

I went straight into the Manager office trying to ask for another arrangement. Turns out to be there are other reasons behind that.

“Slum kids are different than Mercy kids, but they are not a lot different. They tried their best to not be caught playing dirty, even their parents are among the plan. We gave out scholarship, but we have problems getting them to school. We subsidized stationeries and uniforms by receipts and we caught somebody faking receipts to get extra money. Since school is free, they spend school time selling god knows what on the street to get extra income for their family.”

Although I am not sure how large percentage that these problems happen to the group of hundreds sponsorship kids, I am undermining my own assumption that sponsorship kids will be more ready to face a different challenge than the difficult slum life. If they and their family still need constant monitoring from Mercy staffs, is it up to Mercy to think for them and their children what they need for an education? Half of the students doesn’t even make it to grade 10 and has to attend vocational school. That is not a shame. It is because Mercy stops trying to push them too hard, and push them too far from their own potential. We are praying for miracle to get hungry, deeply influenced by the environment, malnutrition, problematic-with-all-sorts-of-issues kids to do brilliantly at school and would be interested in furthering studies abroad.

That would mean investing more than 50 percent of their time starting from 0 to work on English, conversation, vocabulary and grammar where they could actually go somewhere else and sell t-shirts to earn some pocket money. Studying more doesn’t make their family full. Who am I to blame that they just don’t work hard enough to get good grades?

That is why we have Sister Joan giving milk run to the babies in the slums, just to have the right nutrition for the brain so that they can learn like the other kids. She also makes up for the uniforms, shoes, things to use at school so that the children and their parents can have enough time focusing on their homework instead of the school fees.

“We are helping them to help themselves. It is not a quick process, we must start from the right direction,” say Sister Joan as I was in yet another milk run of hers today.

It is not about me telling others how wonderful my life has been and how much experience I got that has changed my perspective of the world. It is about one having full attendance to school no matter how badly they performed. It is to secure them a place in their own society, not to make them an outsider.

One of our elder boys tried and got disappointed too many times. He was so down and it made the staffs felt guilty trying to make him a Somebody. He is now happily patrolling as a security guard at Mercy.

In the short run, slum kids will not sacrifice time for the fast but little flow of money on a daily basis for the big family. Education level will still remain low. Until enough subsidies is given to a family so that teenagers will not be burdened on supporting their elders and young anymore, will they make a decision by their own whether to learn more about the world beyond the four walls of family, country, the king and their world.

Looks like I am not witnessing it any sooner.

pic: the sea-gypsy kids are the main challenge of Mercy. One little step at each time.