Meditation Trip (click)

第一天的坐禅—脑海里一直在寻找熟悉的佛理、道理。可是这里的“窿坡”和尚（驻持）根本没有在帮忙。说泰语还不太要紧，可是讲的时候根本没有张开嘴巴，那才糟糕，真的是在考验我的定力！后来我才发现，他已经在那山上的那座庙住了整整的三十四年，说教了整整二十几年，也从此没有再下山了。他在今世的使命就是说教，让有智慧且诚心的凡人可以上山去领悟到佛法佛道。当然，这已经挑起了我的不甘，我当然得有智慧了！

戒、定、慧；贪、嗔、痴；我潜意识里知道佛教就是围绕在这几个字里，可是我这几天将会挣扎着从医对泰语中找寻它们的影子。这里的尼姑都特别漂亮，和尚们也非常的好看，对不起啊，我这凡人就是观察着这些，当然我对漂亮的诠释是看起来特别有智慧，有仪表，且非常高贵。尼姑们在和尚没有说教时教我们念泰文佛经。因为听起来特别酷，我在空闲时教孩子们读给我听，好让我用拼音记下他们的读音……

不知道是否实习佛的人不杀生，这庙里到处是猴子和流浪狗，活像西游记的水帘洞，还有少不了的灵猴怪癖，老爱偷吃，偷看，偷内衣内裤；而流浪狗就老爱趁钟声响起时长啸个不停；容纳着三十四个人的小睡房的地板中更是藏着我们所不知的小小动物乐园，在我们熟睡时过来咬我们的衣服不指，还想吃我们的肉！

这庙就让我想起小时候拿来玩弄别人的故事：从前有座山，山里有座庙，庙里有个小和尚，小和尚在讲故事，他说：从前有座山，山里有座庙，庙里有个小和尚……只要把‘老’字代替‘小’字，这里真得很像那座山。从没有钱时的山洞中打坐，到现在的富丽堂皇，金色佛像建座沿在山岩中，小和尚也都变老了，不变的是他每天都在“讲故事” ……

这五天里的作息就是：早晨四点半在暗暗的山洞里念经；六点吃粥；七点“走”禅；七点半听 “窿坡”说教； 十点最后一次吃饭（对，晚上没得吃）；一点活动；三点再听教，四点念经；七点听老师简说佛法；还有最后一次的听教在晚上9点。十点熄灯。

第一天下来，我都快不知所措了。幸好，我坚持下去。 念经时享受孩子们的童音；听教时，学习运气到身体的各部分（还包括打瞌睡）；活动时教孩子们画画（还画幅肖像画给尼姑）；最值得的是我可以听明白老师的简说佛法， 她以丰富的经验和节奏用故事来吸引小孩子们的注意力，进而让他们吸收她所要表达的教诲。 我曾经是个爱听故事的孩子，这让我有了很大的灵感，想要找更多的故事来继续我在曼谷的教书“生涯”。最后一晚，我还有幸的和这一位老师聊天，说着这几个月来教书的烦恼。

人生里，有多少机会让你慢下来？听着你自己的呼吸声？一步分三个步奏来走：右、准备、踏；左、准备、踏……当时我都快跌倒了，因为没有试过走那么慢！真的有轮回这回事吗？我只听进尼姑的这句话：“在这陌生的地方和语言，你都能这么容易的被接受，这证明前生，你和这一班人是非常要好得家人，朋友。也可能，是因为你的可爱吧！”

Disasterous Phuket(Click)

Who will believe that the fantasy Phuket trip has contribute to the worst case scenario that I would never imagine?

Headache, Dhirea, Fever all came to me at once, pounding through every inch of my skin. My god! Food Poisoning!

Must be the Seafood, must be the water I drank, must be the street vendor's pancake, must be the crabs, must be I have accidentally kill a crab! Must be.......

Only glimpse of the white sandy beach, clear blue sky, my journey was focusing on the sea gypsy kids and the other students from different high school from around Phuket, where some of them experienced the devastated Tsunami four years ago.

It was a top choice for travelers, royalties, celebrities, but its huge tourism didn't really help the kids in Phuket to go to school, access to education, learn to write or read. The Government once declared that Thailand has gotten 96% of the population out of illiteracy. What a joke! the Chief of Kids sponsorship said.

Besides having workshop for them, sponsoring their education, one of the big upcoming projects is to have the sea gypsies come to Bangkok and live in Mercy Centre. Learn English! Father Joe announced it boldly.

To explain the term Sea gypsy. First , its nothing like the Gypsies we understand from the European culture and the fortune tellers. They are the ones who live in the sea more than land, to sail, to fish, to work for a living. The elders will always be out in the sea, leaving the young kids at home, no where to go, no school to attend, know nothing about the big world beyond the sea.

So, what a huge task it is to bring them out from their HOME!! They should go to school, they should start read and write!

So, once again this challenge has fall into the hands of Mercy, and onto the fellow volunteers. Teaching these slums kids are already challenging, what more than sea gypsy kids?
Let set a limit bar?? What is good enough for us to celebrate after that?

"Imagine, a sea gypsy kid going abroad, learning English and other culture..."

Follow ups of my mumblings (click)

Well, the classes turn out to be not as bad as I thought.





The graphic room is filled with colors and laughter. Not to mention the whole excitement after the opposition 'won' in Malaysia's election. That's all I talk about when I am talking with my friends and family. I was energized and determined to show the kids 'grown up' paintings.

Some of them seem reluctant to get out of their own box, where they color using monotones and thick splat of acryllics on canvas. Using logics and lights requires more thinking, and mixing the right color is difficult! But some are like , wow, they never see how much you can do with colour! They are eager to draw something different.

Before this, they are always drawing themes like kids playing, animals, flowers, but nothing specific where they can improve their painting skills. So I started my first class with water color: at the Beach, introducing different techniques with water colors. How to paint the sky, the water the sands,and the trees.

Even the hyperactive boys calm down and focus on their coloring for the short one hour and a half. I am definitely pleased:P.

Not to mention that my 6 years old have graduated from school!
There was this grand ceremony at Mercy where Father Joe will hand out certificates in his PHD robes , asking children in their grad suits to continue schooling despite any circumstances.

" Do you go to school if your father's drunk?"
" Do you go to school if your mothers not around?"
"Do you go to school if you are sick?"
"Do you go to school if it is raining?"

"YEs, yes yes yes!!!!"

Fears and Holidays

For those we don't know, March and April is the end of Semester Break. ALRIGHT.
They just have a one month break on October, didn't seems too long ago.

Actually I contridict myself. I wanted the kids to have holiday because then I can spend more time with them, and know them personally, thus I can have classes in the day time, instead of early mornings and late evenings.

But then, Holiday is nightmare to think about, because its when discipline comes loose. They don't have tight schedule anymore. The mercy centre which based solely on Head over head over group leader over this leader etc ( Imagine how many stations to go for creating an activity) will not have full control to send them to different courses organized by the volunteers based on their individual wants. ( They usually send them in groups)

What will happen when only 2 of them will join the Art Class and the rest of them Recreation? They don't have a data entry to jot down names, nor to find out who goes where. Its freaking scary, if I think of it, what if one didn't show up in both sides? Where are they hiding?

Not to mention that the Centre already send some of them ( dunno how many ) to three or four camps outside Bangkok. Perhaps I am the only one panick about the unknown. How many and who and when? Thinking back in the RCN days, its totally up to us which activity to join and even if there are VIPs coming to college, it is still up to us to decide whether to attend the presentation. So activities are created....what's next, I will only know next week. So far, Me and the new volunteers from Canada, Misty and Jodie, planned 'Recreation', Drawing, Painting, and Dancing.

That is just problems inside Mercy. Out in the streets, holiday is when the kids gone wild. Nope, no guardian in ther house. No locks in the house. No activities, No fun games. Who will they meet during the day, What will they learn?

Although kids are just kids, but think deeper, Its hard to believe that they are still pure as snow. They know how to loosen hardware from the Air-conditioning and break in Staff Rooms to steal metal for money, they know how to get forbidden materials, they have DVDs not to mention what genre it is...I have seeing little boys copying the big boys, breaking hardware into pieces by using their toys as experiment and try to bring it together again.

All these recored that has piled up. Mercy called for an off. Not a day or two. But Two whole months. Mercy 1, the home for older rebelious boys, will be dismissed tomorrow for two months. They will have to cope with their own problems after they committed a crime, not Mercy. Their family, if there are still one, have to cope with these problems too. They have to learn how to deal with the consequences.

So , for two days, bedsheets were taken to wash, Beds are kept, all prepared to leave. Some boys are moody, one wouldn't even focus in his English class, probably the family he has got left, is not someone he loves, not someone he knows deeply to love. Those who have nobody, will be helping in the villa of Mercy, planting veges, and learn about farming.

Lastly, I am not a really good in following up . So this two blogs, from my new friends, will be helpful for those who want to know more.

http://jodieinthailand.blogspot.com
http://mistyinthailand.blogspot.com