my first attempt on writing a review

So I m working in the Marketing section of the arts center and I wrote this amateur review for the Merce cunningham show:

This was my first Merce Cunningham show, and wow it blew me away. With Cunningham’s renowned impact on avant-garde, I was almost expecting walking out with question marks. To me, the term avant-garde has always sound intimidating, sophisticated yet abstract, and it would sure be difficult for me to ‘get it’. But to my surprise, I walked out nodding and smiling by how much I can relate to the dancers who portrayed Cunningham’s vision.

Cunningham has broken down the modern contemporary steps into an easier and relatable language of life. An act where every dancer inserted a bouncy ring inside their leotards reminds me of my interaction with the ‘outside’ world -- the uncomfortable first impressions and insecurities that I have to carry inside us despite that flawless confident smile. The bouncy ring in every dancer seems to represent that insecure feeling: awkward and uncomfortable yet we have to pretend that it is never there.
The dancers from the Merce Cunningham Dance Company looked like they have taken part-time acting classes. In “Squaregame”, big fluffy tutu-looking dresses weighed heavily on the female dancers as they circled around a male dancer in the middle, who was sorting out his four-sleeves-sweater. I was amazed how a dance performance can become a witty comical show. Not only were the dancers’ demanding dance moves in sync with the playful music, together with the dancers’ expression they delivered perfect comic timing.

The “Antic Meet”, music by John Cage was my favorite piece. When two female dancers tip toed their perfect lines onto the stage, their elegance was turned completely upside down with the ‘cat fights’ they were having with each other. Each of them either purposefully blocks the other’s way or makes funny face behind the other’s back. The audience and I broke into laughter. The unexpected scene made the extreme talented and skillful artists human, because they have related their act to our everyday life and challenges. No matter what we do, there will always be somebody looking at us, thinking that we are complete idiots; therefore no act would be perfect without some healthy backstage drama! Isn’t that why people watch reality shows these days? The act continued with two men marched in circles and greeted each other with their poker face and straight defensive posture. This time, gender seems to determine how the dancers interact with each other. The culture of machismo was shown here when the two men refuse to show their emotion, possibly weaknesses to each other. The dancers have skillfully interpreted the different human behaviors and left space for some thoughtful reflection.

Though all three pieces in the show were first performed more than thirty years ago, Cunningham’s works transcend time and spaces. The extravagance of Andy Warhol’s décor combined with sharp retro color (the bright purple leotard, anyone?) still works like magic visually. Even with my little expertise in the modern contemporary dance, I could tell that Cunningham’s works will continue to impact and influence today’s younger dancers and audience.

Fear

I remember the time when I was still an active blogger, can't wait to tell the world how I feel and what I have learn.

Recently, it has all stopped. I fear people bridging my privacy, knowing too much, I fear I have invaded others' privacy for mentioning them or giving TMI about them. In the world of social media where you could just add an '@'sign in front of a person's name to make sure they are notified when you talk about them, I slowly fail to see the very purpose of mentioning.

Are the attention-seeking real? Do I really want to know what people think about me? from a mere picture, one-sentence statement, what I wrote about my life? Fear of judgment has become my biggest hurdle to write, to express myself like I used to be. My experience of living in between cultures have exposed me to the many interpretations of actions and behaviors in life. A free-spirit girl in America can be interpreted as a slut in Morocco; a submissive woman in Malaysia can be seen as lack of woman's right from the west. News reporting became a bias information feeder to the ignorant readers who blindly trust but do not question deeper.

Who are my readers anyway? Are they just family and friends? I refuse to put my blog on private because I believe that my thoughts are interesting and meaningful enough to educate a stranger. My pride told me that I can unconsciously impact a conscious reader. Discussing about my life could eventually inspire others' journey of seeking self, education and purpose in life. However, recently, I think I am muted. I have muted myself.

Oh I have lived. I have lived through the wonderful extreme ends of Moroccan culture, breathed in the dry desert wind and lush spring flowers of the country, crossing lines of black and white to understand reality of human suffering and wandering, peaked through the lives of both elites and struggling hard workers from the deep narrow streets of the old cities, and invaded the exclusive religious but unorthodox ceremonies in the dark. Can I tell? Can I really tell what I have seen, heard and smelled?

Can my stories recuperate my adventurous desire that fails to surface in this purposeful arranged routines in the summer by this prestigious and expensive institution that I pay a peanut (compared to many) to get in?

But I think I have already made my decision. My brain could not hold anymore. It wants to be freed, freed of secrets, freed from hiding. I have a lot to say, and somehow, neither my term paper, nor my facebook and twitter status are enough to contain that. Whether its my superficial self seeking for attention, or my civic self wanting to teach others about my free-spirited life, I think it is time again for me to speak up.

Stay tuned.

Eliana's blog

I tried to write, but never did, so here it is , my experience in Morocco from a 3rd person's perspective:P

http://regardshome.blogspot.com/

open ended possibilities

what are they?

I wanna do a senior project that consists of research and drumming in Cuba, stage production and documentary.

Where do I need to plan that performance, when do I want to go, what application do I need to fill , advisors, recommendation letter. What come first?

Takes months to get all the material ready. You want to realize a dream? do the job of planning and logistics.
Yeap, that's what I have been doing besides class. on top of that, I still need to find art related internship in the summer, after I come back from Morocco foreign study abroad program.

Luckily I got to talk to people who are so supportive regardless of my amateur approach to this project. From recommendation to execution to budget handling, I wish I can synthesis all my resources as soon as possible before I leave.
All rantings do not get my job done. so I have to do more writing. please hope for the best!